Thursday, 14 June 2018

Don't call us losers



Would you like to know something that boils my piss? It may sound trivial to you or you may think I’m being over sensitive, but as an official inhabitant of ‘CancerLand’ AND speaking for many others in my position that feel the same, that it really grips my tit that when I die, you will call me a loser.

I know! Aren’t you an awful person?!

You would never do that. Would you? But I can confirm muggles everywhere do it so often it’s become as common as wiping one’s arse. What kind of asshat calls a loved one that’s died a loser? And yet when someone dies from Cancer, the typical cliché that’s stapled onto their Facebook status is ‘They lost their battle with Cancer’. 



Maybe I’m being hard on you because of course, I don’t really know what you’d say if you had to discuss a Cancer persons death. I’m chucking you in a box, aren’t I? With all the other sheep out there... in fact I was probably once in that box too.... in the corner eating a double decker and googling ‘Puss-Porn.’

I just can’t fathom this ‘losing a battle’ crap and why it seems synonymous with Cancer folk. Imagine breaking the news on Facebook that someone you love had died in a car accident? Would you write ‘I’m sorry to tell you Dave has died...he was hit by a bus whilst crossing the road...he lost his fight with the 359’. Poor Dave. He couldn’t bloody help it. I’m sure he didn’t just lie down and bleed to death at the side of the road, I bet he was desperate to keep breathing but he had no control. And not only has he died, you’re calling him a loser. Christ on a bike! 



When you’re diagnosed with secondary cancer like me, (cancer that has spread to a distant sight from the original place) you are incurable and can spend the rest of your life knowing that whatever you do you will end up a loser. The writings on the wall. At some point you’ll die and not only is being dead a bit shit, you’re now also a loser. And it doesn’t matter how long you live for beyond that diagnosis. You are still a loser. 



I catch infections quite often due to lower immunity from the drugs and rather than a bit of Savlon and plasters, I can wind up in hospital for a week on a rotation of intravenous anti-biotics and paracetamol without the energy to lift my head off the pillow accept to watch ‘Love Island.’ I will throw up, be prodded with needles and stuck in a ward with my fellow cancer patients munching on unidentifiable food, listening to people fill their commodes.



I remember a stay last year when I was in a ward with four others. The lady in the next bed appeared uncomfortable but lucid. In the morning her husband came into visit and later the Dr turned up. He pulled the curtain around them as if this magical cotton cloth had evolved itself to become sound proof, and he delivered the news. ‘Maud you’re not doing so well on these chemo tablets and therefore I think it’s time we withdrew them. That reduces the time to about 7 days. Have you given any thought to what you’d like to do? Would you like to go home?’ Wow. Home, I thought. Lucky Maud.

But Maud was being asked where she would like to die. She had a week left.

Now I don’t know Maud, but I know when you get to this point you’ve been through every drug available and there is nothing left to try. You’ve run out of options. Maud will have endured years of treatments, appointments, scans, injections, blood tests, vomiting, the shits, nights sweets, baldness, nosebleeds, dental issues, nail loss, sympathy stares, discrimination, loss of friends, emotional trauma, mobility issues and now she is going to die. And to top it all off, when she does die she will be branded a loser! Fucking hell!

Whilst enduring all the things that Cancer has to offer she could also have raised awareness, fundraised thousands for charity, inspired countless people, travelled the world, raised her grandkids, fought for drugs for others, reconnected with what’s important, taken time for herself, loved very deeply, spent more time with her friends, smiled constantly, reinvented her life and although she had Cancer and it caused her death she died a hero! Maybe not your hero, but her own or her families. 

She is most defiantly not a loser. Just because you die it doesn’t mean you lost. It’s what you do in life that defines you, not your death.  No one lives forever.

She didn’t lose her battle with Cancer, she chose to live her life the way she wanted, and she won. She won in her life. It may have been shorter than she would have chosen and she couldn’t control her death but if you find anyone that can... pass me their email. 



So, I’m asking for me and maybe a few others, please don’t say we lost. Say whatever else you like but just not that. We go to hell and back, enduring years of being poisoned, burned and chopped up. Dealing with emotions about death, wondering how to say goodbye to people when the time comes and all other manner of horrors, but we still laugh our way through it and live our lives just like you. If that isn’t winning, I don’t know what is.

And if I find any of you writing the word ‘lost’ about me I’ll be so raging I’ll haunt you. 



If I could have a wish it would be to live until 100 and beyond. But I can only live now. Just like you. We are no different. We all die.



If you outlive me... and you find yourself typing the words ‘lost’ into your phones when announcing my death.... stop and remember this blog and copy and paste the following:



‘Heidi’s goal was to live her life the way she chose. And she won.’


11 comments:

Unknown said...

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PAUL said...

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Nicole Campbell said...


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You can also message him on WhatsApp +(1)256-251-3614







CONTACT DR PERFECT TODAY VIA EMAIL solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com AND GET YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE RESTORED BACK WITHIN 24 HOURS

Hello everyone am Lucas Martinez from USA, after 15 years of marriage, me and my wife were living happily together we loved each other so much and I Loved my family they were my top priority, until one morning me and my wife had a little argument which I know every couples do have because there are no perfect couples in this world after the argument I went to work when I came home I couldn't find my wife and our kids she also packed her bags and that of the kids and left I tried calling her but I couldn't reach her I went to her friend's house but they couldn't tell me where to find her, I was frustrated I didn't know what to do I started drinking alcohol every day and night I stopped going to work it was a difficult thing for me because she and my kids means everything to me it's was like part of my body left me I couldn't function well, one day I was browsing on the Internet when I saw a testimony of someone testifying of a man called Dr Perfect and how he brought back his wife within 24 hours I didn't think twice about it I messaged him and told him everything that happened between me and my wife and he said he find my problem very easy for him to solve he also told me to trust him that my wife will come back and I told him I trust him and he asked for some information which I gave him, 24 hours later my wife came back home with the kids I was so surprised to see her it was like a dream to me she started crying and apologizing to me I told her it's okay I forgive her that am happy she is back we are now living happily together. If you are heart broken because your wife or husband left you email this powerful love spell caster called Dr Perfect via email

solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com

You can also message him on WhatsApp +(1)256-251-3614

Lucas Martinez said...

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Hello everyone am Lucas Martinez from USA, after 15 years of marriage, me and my wife were living happily together we loved each other so much and I Loved my family they were my top priority, until one morning me and my wife had a little argument which I know every couples do have because there are no perfect couples in this world after the argument I went to work when I came home I couldn't find my wife and our kids she also packed her bags and that of the kids and left I tried calling her but I couldn't reach her I went to her friend's house but they couldn't tell me where to find her, I was frustrated I didn't know what to do I started drinking alcohol every day and night I stopped going to work it was a difficult thing for me because she and my kids means everything to me it's was like part of my body left me I couldn't function well, one day I was browsing on the Internet when I saw a testimony of someone testifying of a man called Dr Perfect and how he brought back his wife within 24 hours I didn't think twice about it I messaged him and told him everything that happened between me and my wife and he said he find my problem very easy for him to solve he also told me to trust him that my wife will come back and I told him I trust him and he asked for some information which I gave him, 24 hours later my wife came back home with the kids I was so surprised to see her it was like a dream to me she started crying and apologizing to me I told her it's okay I forgive her that am happy she is back we are now living happily together. If you are heart broken because your wife or husband left you email this powerful love spell caster called Dr Perfect via email

solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com

You can also message him on WhatsApp +(1)256-251-3614






CONTACT DR PERFECT TODAY VIA EMAIL solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com AND GET YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE RESTORED BACK WITHIN 24 HOURS

Hello everyone am Lucas Martinez from USA, after 15 years of marriage, me and my wife were living happily together we loved each other so much and I Loved my family they were my top priority, until one morning me and my wife had a little argument which I know every couples do have because there are no perfect couples in this world after the argument I went to work when I came home I couldn't find my wife and our kids she also packed her bags and that of the kids and left I tried calling her but I couldn't reach her I went to her friend's house but they couldn't tell me where to find her, I was frustrated I didn't know what to do I started drinking alcohol every day and night I stopped going to work it was a difficult thing for me because she and my kids means everything to me it's was like part of my body left me I couldn't function well, one day I was browsing on the Internet when I saw a testimony of someone testifying of a man called Dr Perfect and how he brought back his wife within 24 hours I didn't think twice about it I messaged him and told him everything that happened between me and my wife and he said he find my problem very easy for him to solve he also told me to trust him that my wife will come back and I told him I trust him and he asked for some information which I gave him, 24 hours later my wife came back home with the kids I was so surprised to see her it was like a dream to me she started crying and apologizing to me I told her it's okay I forgive her that am happy she is back we are now living happily together. If you are heart broken because your wife or husband left you email this powerful love spell caster called Dr Perfect via email

solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com

You can also message him on WhatsApp +(1)256-251-3614

Chris Anderson said...

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I'm Chris Anderson from UK I was sick of herpes for 3 years it affected my relationship with my girlfriend when she find out I was having herpes she left me, I missed her so much because I loved her with all my heart and she always makes me happy she was the source of my happiness I wanted her to come back to me, so I took every treatment and drugs but none could cure my sickness I never lose hope because I believe I will surely get cured and be reunited with my girlfriend again so I went online to search for herpes cure and I came across a comment of a man on how this powerful herbalist cured him of herpes, I didn't hesitate I emailed him and explained my problem to him on how this herpes has affected my relationship he replied my mail and he asked for some information which I gave him and he prepared a herbal cure when he finished preparing the cure he sent it to me and instructed me on how to use it and I did it as I was instructed, five days later I couldn't find any sign of herpes that's was how I was free from herpes virus and he also did a love spell that brought back my ex girlfriend, this was the best thing that have ever happened to me am indeed grateful to Dr Perfect for the help he has rendered to me if you need help to cure your diseases or bring back your ex contact him and get your problems solved at solutiontoallproblems1@gmail.com
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Kaitlyn Kristy said...

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he can also cure you from
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LINDA ROBERT said...

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My name is LINDA ROBERT from United State, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real and effective online spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr PETER He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Dr PETER he cast a love spell for me, and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me to come back. he is back now with so much love and care. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers to restore broken relationship back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, Dr PETER can also offer any type of help like, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via his email mail
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his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME
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LINDA ROBERT said...

HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF DR PETER THE REAL ONLINE SPELL CASTER WHATSAPP/CALL +1(321)754-0649

My name is LINDA ROBERT from United State, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real and effective online spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr PETER He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Dr PETER he cast a love spell for me, and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me to come back. he is back now with so much love and care. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers to restore broken relationship back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, Dr PETER can also offer any type of help like, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via his email mail
MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM
MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649
his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME
and blog at http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com and get your problems solved 100% assured.

THEODORE SARAH said...

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My name is THEODORE SARAH am from united state, I almost took my life because of my husband who left me and stop picking my calls. He said He do not Love me again, I tried to beg him, but he will not answer me until we had a fight and broke up for 6months, after then I realize I can not leave without him. I tried everything possible to get him back. until I came across this man called Dr Peter online i contacted him and he helped me cast a love spell and behold my husband came back within 48 hours.begging me for forgiveness, I was so surprised that spell caster like Dr Peter still exist. If anyone here needs some help, with all sincerity, contact Dr Peter today On Magnificentspellcast@gmail.com or Magnificentspellcast@yahoo.com CALL/whatsapp +1(321)754-0649 indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again.i can never stop talking about you sir. his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSIT2.ME and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com DR PETER is really a great man you can contact him for solution for any kind of problems like
(1) lottery spell
(2) ex back
(3) get pregnant
(4) cure for any kind of sickness,disease and infection
And many others contact this great man today and get your
Problems solved 100%

THEODORE SARAH said...

HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER Dr Peter CALL OR CONTACT VIA WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

My name is THEODORE SARAH am from united state, I almost took my life because of my husband who left me and stop picking my calls. He said He do not Love me again, I tried to beg him, but he will not answer me until we had a fight and broke up for 6months, after then I realize I can not leave without him. I tried everything possible to get him back. until I came across this man called Dr Peter online i contacted him and he helped me cast a love spell and behold my husband came back within 48 hours.begging me for forgiveness, I was so surprised that spell caster like Dr Peter still exist. If anyone here needs some help, with all sincerity, contact Dr Peter today On Magnificentspellcast@gmail.com or Magnificentspellcast@yahoo.com CALL/whatsapp +1(321)754-0649 indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again.i can never stop talking about you sir. his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSIT2.ME and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com DR PETER is really a great man you can contact him for solution for any kind of problems like
(1) lottery spell
(2) ex back
(3) get pregnant
(4) cure for any kind of sickness,disease and infection
And many others contact this great man today and get your
Problems solved 100%