Sunday, 2 September 2018

Get a life

On Friday morning on my way out to start the day, I noticed a shit on my drive. I don’t mean a person of annoyance, I mean an actual colon travelled food pile. A shit. Turd. Log. Poo. It wasn’t human. It was canine. This in itself isn’t blog worthy but I’m getting to that. Call me old fashioned, but I was annoyed. Someone had allowed their dog to walk onto my driveway, squat down and lay a cable on my land! I’ve got kids that expect to be able to walk on their own land, shoeless, without fear of nuggets between their toes. It got right on my tit. So, I did what any disgruntled resident would do and went to the town Facebook page to exude some passive aggression ... 

I attached this as evidence....

I don’t know what I was expecting really. I just wanted to say how unamused I was with the shit. I’m not annoyed with the dog. I like dogs. In fact my brother has a dog called Steve and he’s a fine fellow. No, I was annoyed with the owner. Disgusting lazy wank stain not clearing up their dogs shit. If either of my sons shat on someone’s drive, I’d clear it up. 

Anyway, the comments flowed in and I got the comradery I expected, shocked emoji faces, a few poo puns which I enjoyed, Janet reminding everyone not to tar all dog owners with the same brush etc etc but then there was Brian. 

Now let’s be honest, Brian’s a bone head that failed to see the irony in telling someone to get a life for writing on social media about the shit whilst writing on social media about the shit. I love the 'moronic ironic's', they're fantastic and exactly why I love the local whinge pages. It gives a voice to the people, even the ones that wear sandals and socks in public but like to go home and dress as an adult baby. 

Anyway, what did make me think was the term ‘get a life’. An idiom meant as a low level insult that suggests someone wastes their time on the mundane. Brian has no idea about my situation. He doesn’t realise that he’s just told someone with incurable cancer to ‘get a life.’ He’d most likely feel awful and a bit of a shit himself if he knew. So I simply replied with this... 

And ironically Brian himself hit the thumbs up button. 👍I like to think it was more of a touché. 
What Brian’s comment did highlight to me is that since I’ve been “dying” (and I use this term for artistic value because although they keep telling me that my prognosis is 2-5 years and I’m 3.5 years in, I’m not even close to that yet) but since I’ve been "dying", I’ve never been more alive. 
I travel loads, ride my horse, cycle miles and miles, have chemo, take each day as it comes, do the floss with the kids, see my friends all the time, laugh at farts, drink wine, play practical jokes and get annoyed by mundane stuff like dogs shitting on my drive. 

Getting a life really is exactly what we should all be doing.

Brian my lover, I have got a life. And for that, I’m truly thankful. 

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